I'm listening to some accapella polka while I write this, so I can't help but be infected by its catchy cheerfulness despite the fact that I am nearing my second failure in as many days. I, like many others, set a goal to do 1k push ups and sit ups on Chinese New Years day. Unfortunately yesterday was a failure and today, though looking better, is likely to be counted another failure. Both will be logged as zeros. Until I succeed in doing 1k/1k/1 day, it will be zeros. 1000 or 0, nothing in between! I could use my new job as an excuse, and it is an obstacle to be sure, but such would cheapen my failure. Failure, like an expensive spice, makes one's success taste that much more delicious. This success is shaping up to be perhaps a little too seasoned; good thing I'm a fan of deliciousness.
I've spent the past two days getting accustomed to a new job: operating a skid steer. I've been pushing snow around an area south of Keephills known as Pit 3. I began by clearing around where the poles for new power lines will be set and having finished that, my new task is to break new trails in the next section of land. This though, rather than open fields, is wooded and rugged. The land is so beautiful, full of birch, pine, and an assortment of other lovely plants and fauna, each one a work of art. My little bobcat bounces through it, and the damage I am paid to work seems almost humorous in its insignificance. Even on the fourth or fifth pass small trees stand defiant. Unfortunately, nothing stops the dozer. A mechanized armada of progressively heavier equipment will follow behind me to tear the land asunder, strip the rock bare of the soil and life it has hoarded for millenia, the funeral mound of those who came before. The rock will be blasted and drag lines will pace the site, grave robbers of impressive stature. Thereafter the abyssal black they dig will brighten in the boilers to power the offices of the Green Party.
Ben Davies
Silent River Kung fu
Stony Plain, Alberta, Canada
www.silentriverkungfu.com
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I'm so very excited, having finally purchased a combat ready cane. I wanted to study cane fighting for years now, but this is first good opportunity I've had and, quite frankly, it has made me giddy. There is absolutely no way to make this not awesome. The cane is not only a charming weapon, but eminently practical. I'm rather partial to the notion of having a weapon which can be carried anywhere with various qualities of replacement available everywhere.
At face value, the use of the cane seems similar to a bokken, but with a hook for grappling. The various possibilities are seemingling endless and this excites me. It may seem that I'm making a fuss over very little, and yes, I am, but I rarely get excited at all so I deem it forgivable.
True, the masterfully crafted cane I've purchased did cost a fair chunk of change, it was still humorously less than goth/punk ones designed only for fashion. I will also note that it is much nicer looking as well.
I'll have to play with it more.
Ben Davies
www.silentriverkungfu.com
At face value, the use of the cane seems similar to a bokken, but with a hook for grappling. The various possibilities are seemingling endless and this excites me. It may seem that I'm making a fuss over very little, and yes, I am, but I rarely get excited at all so I deem it forgivable.
True, the masterfully crafted cane I've purchased did cost a fair chunk of change, it was still humorously less than goth/punk ones designed only for fashion. I will also note that it is much nicer looking as well.
I'll have to play with it more.
Ben Davies
www.silentriverkungfu.com
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
And They Shall Know No Fear
Failure, it is a word much despised by most and loved by none. To me, failure seems a nigh unattainable thing, since regardless of whether one 'wins' or 'loses', they have gained.
When I failed my first black belt test, I never saw it as a failure to succeed; rather, I saw it as succeeding less than I would have liked. The journey counts for as much, in my opinion, as the destination, and even if you never reach the top of the mountain, you've at least had pleasant hike in your attempt. The only way to truly fail, to gain nothing, is to not try, to not pull on your hiking boots and have at 'er. To quit, give up, or otherwise hold yourself back is the worst thing one can do to themselves.
One never grows by holding back, technique and muscle aren't built on a couch.
If you set out to accomplish a goal and fall short it doesn't mean you're horrible, it does mean you have room to improve and something to work towards. Good for you, recycle that goal and get back to work. As long as one is moving forward, day by day, they will improve and become more successful.
There is no good reason not to try. Some folks procrastinate, waiting for a more opportune time, while others are lazy, seeming to detest being productive citizens, perhaps they are simply afraid to fail.
Fear of failure is, I think, one of the worst phobias. People naturally avoid their phobias, which is easy for spiders, snakes, and heights and one loses nothing from avoiding such things which cannot be made back somewhere else. The process of avoiding failure, however, bears marked resemblance to avoiding success. Why? Because they're essentially the same thing. Only very rarely in life is success guaranteed, and even then it's usually nothing big.
Failure, like snakes and spiders, should be respected for its venom, but not feared without reason. A fear of failure, of exposing one's weakness and limitations, is as a festering wound, and will most certainly destroy you if left untended. Illogicality exceeded only by lethality.
8 days into the ubbt it seems my first hurdle is overcoming such a nonsensical fear of failing. By failing to be public, a cycle I'm attempting herein to break, I have ostensibly quit the ubbt. In fact, I've done so twice or thrice in the past week. A fear of failing, appearing weak, sapped my gumption and that same fear of perceptible weakness kept me from seeking motivative aid. Doesn't make much sense does it?
My fears were supported, after a fashion, by a perceived inability to anything good enough, and at each turn it seemed all anyone could see were the short comings. Taking action to any end became more a forced march toward a predestined doom of those eyes which dissected me. I have never been the one to need compliments, and would much rather have constructive criticism any day. How can I address a problem I do not know? My trouble was not that I was receiving an unending stream of the constructive, but that I did not see it as such, it seemed my flaws were targeted rather than identified and at every turn the words 'You can't do it' rang in the back of my mind. How could I affirm people's doubts in me by seeking aid? This is not to say I thought people wanted me to fail, but it seemed no one saw the positive, always the negative. Each time I tried to break my little cycle that feeling of doom crept in, that no one would see it as anything but a failure, and so what s the point of doing what is doomed? At least if I didn't do it at all I wasn't doing it wrong.
On the other hand, I couldn't quit, because quitting is dumb. My refusal to quit was the only thing keeping in the game, but left me in a most uncomfortable limbo between quitting and not doing. The difference? I kept trying to break my cycle and fully intended to succeed...eventually.
It took a repetitious series of conversations between Master Brinker's boot and my rear end to jump start my motor and get into gear. Now I'm rolling in the right direction, upping my pushes, upping my sits, upping everything.
The only discernible method for besting this pesky flaw of mine is to become more engaged in the public aspect. The only way to stop hiding is to stop hiding and to this end I'm committing to spending at least 3 hours per week (156 hours this year) in the Kwoon. It is a requirement for sihings, why not for me?
This experience has put the PCP (Praise, Correct, Praise) rule in new light for me. I never really cared for the praise part, and was perfectly content to simply be corrected until I fixed the error, and was told to fix another. When teaching, I often neglected to praise students. However, upon re-evaluating the recent past it seems that there may be something to the rule other than simply keeping the student's confidence up. I've had many students tell me that they love constructive criticism when I have caught myself being too hard on them. This seemed to me to counter the PCP rule, since they didn't seem to need confidence boosts. Of course, other students needed confidence boosts and I acted accordingly with PCP. Now though, I think even if the person doesn't seem to need a confidence boost, complimenting them at least sets a positive mood for the coming onslaught of corrections. It shows that I'm there to help them along rather than simply tell them they're wrong. This is also a strike in favour of keeping on friendly terms with students, which also keeps the relationship positive. Certainly, the student might be confident now, but if all one does is correct them, then they can quickly be misconstrued as a negative force when the student's confidence falls. I say 'when', rather than 'if' because everyone loses steam at some point.
When I failed my first black belt test, I never saw it as a failure to succeed; rather, I saw it as succeeding less than I would have liked. The journey counts for as much, in my opinion, as the destination, and even if you never reach the top of the mountain, you've at least had pleasant hike in your attempt. The only way to truly fail, to gain nothing, is to not try, to not pull on your hiking boots and have at 'er. To quit, give up, or otherwise hold yourself back is the worst thing one can do to themselves.
One never grows by holding back, technique and muscle aren't built on a couch.
If you set out to accomplish a goal and fall short it doesn't mean you're horrible, it does mean you have room to improve and something to work towards. Good for you, recycle that goal and get back to work. As long as one is moving forward, day by day, they will improve and become more successful.
There is no good reason not to try. Some folks procrastinate, waiting for a more opportune time, while others are lazy, seeming to detest being productive citizens, perhaps they are simply afraid to fail.
Fear of failure is, I think, one of the worst phobias. People naturally avoid their phobias, which is easy for spiders, snakes, and heights and one loses nothing from avoiding such things which cannot be made back somewhere else. The process of avoiding failure, however, bears marked resemblance to avoiding success. Why? Because they're essentially the same thing. Only very rarely in life is success guaranteed, and even then it's usually nothing big.
Failure, like snakes and spiders, should be respected for its venom, but not feared without reason. A fear of failure, of exposing one's weakness and limitations, is as a festering wound, and will most certainly destroy you if left untended. Illogicality exceeded only by lethality.
8 days into the ubbt it seems my first hurdle is overcoming such a nonsensical fear of failing. By failing to be public, a cycle I'm attempting herein to break, I have ostensibly quit the ubbt. In fact, I've done so twice or thrice in the past week. A fear of failing, appearing weak, sapped my gumption and that same fear of perceptible weakness kept me from seeking motivative aid. Doesn't make much sense does it?
My fears were supported, after a fashion, by a perceived inability to anything good enough, and at each turn it seemed all anyone could see were the short comings. Taking action to any end became more a forced march toward a predestined doom of those eyes which dissected me. I have never been the one to need compliments, and would much rather have constructive criticism any day. How can I address a problem I do not know? My trouble was not that I was receiving an unending stream of the constructive, but that I did not see it as such, it seemed my flaws were targeted rather than identified and at every turn the words 'You can't do it' rang in the back of my mind. How could I affirm people's doubts in me by seeking aid? This is not to say I thought people wanted me to fail, but it seemed no one saw the positive, always the negative. Each time I tried to break my little cycle that feeling of doom crept in, that no one would see it as anything but a failure, and so what s the point of doing what is doomed? At least if I didn't do it at all I wasn't doing it wrong.
On the other hand, I couldn't quit, because quitting is dumb. My refusal to quit was the only thing keeping in the game, but left me in a most uncomfortable limbo between quitting and not doing. The difference? I kept trying to break my cycle and fully intended to succeed...eventually.
It took a repetitious series of conversations between Master Brinker's boot and my rear end to jump start my motor and get into gear. Now I'm rolling in the right direction, upping my pushes, upping my sits, upping everything.
The only discernible method for besting this pesky flaw of mine is to become more engaged in the public aspect. The only way to stop hiding is to stop hiding and to this end I'm committing to spending at least 3 hours per week (156 hours this year) in the Kwoon. It is a requirement for sihings, why not for me?
This experience has put the PCP (Praise, Correct, Praise) rule in new light for me. I never really cared for the praise part, and was perfectly content to simply be corrected until I fixed the error, and was told to fix another. When teaching, I often neglected to praise students. However, upon re-evaluating the recent past it seems that there may be something to the rule other than simply keeping the student's confidence up. I've had many students tell me that they love constructive criticism when I have caught myself being too hard on them. This seemed to me to counter the PCP rule, since they didn't seem to need confidence boosts. Of course, other students needed confidence boosts and I acted accordingly with PCP. Now though, I think even if the person doesn't seem to need a confidence boost, complimenting them at least sets a positive mood for the coming onslaught of corrections. It shows that I'm there to help them along rather than simply tell them they're wrong. This is also a strike in favour of keeping on friendly terms with students, which also keeps the relationship positive. Certainly, the student might be confident now, but if all one does is correct them, then they can quickly be misconstrued as a negative force when the student's confidence falls. I say 'when', rather than 'if' because everyone loses steam at some point.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
A Good Beat
There is a lot to be said, in my opinion, for ambiance. Changing the enviroment can change how people act/react, with one of the most readily manipulated factors being music. You will never hear Dethklok when the Microsoft puts you on hold and you won't be seeing Jason Statham fighting to Alvin and The Chipmunks.
Proper choice of music can also be useful in martial arts training. Personally, my favorite training music is Disturbed, the Indestructible album in particular. Music is a good way to take your mind off the pain in your muscles of the boredom of Horse Stance marathons. Moving to a beat is also a useful way of pacing yourself and when running seems preferable to simply trying to will myself to go faster. When running I'd suggest tracks like Rammstein's Links 2, 3, 4 ( Left 2, 3, 4) which has a well paced beat for running in time with. In fact, Rammstein has made a large amount of great training music such as Tier (Animal), Mann Gegen Mann (Man Against Man) and Sonne ( The Sun). Sonne in particular is quite poetic, and being about a boxer, quite appropriate.
When selecting a soundtrack for my gleeful misery, I generally look for music with the following things in mind:
1. Obviously, it must be music in which I can lose myself and that I can stand listening to on repeat when I want a nice, stable tempo. The tempo and mood should also fit with the style I'm practicing. Crazy Frog and Thai Chi do not mix.
2. It should be something with an inspiring sound, for example Europa by Globus, which makes excellent use of a choir and symphony. Good lyrics are a must, as there is little worse than hearing anything involving gats and hoes while trying to throw a scissor kick.
Poetry of any kind can be useful, since that is all good lyrics are. I've lost count of how many times I've sung Lady in Black, Unsterblich (Undying), Eisbar ( Polar Bear), or Ejnoy The Silence quietly to myself while training.
Ben Davies
www.silentriverkungfu.com
Proper choice of music can also be useful in martial arts training. Personally, my favorite training music is Disturbed, the Indestructible album in particular. Music is a good way to take your mind off the pain in your muscles of the boredom of Horse Stance marathons. Moving to a beat is also a useful way of pacing yourself and when running seems preferable to simply trying to will myself to go faster. When running I'd suggest tracks like Rammstein's Links 2, 3, 4 ( Left 2, 3, 4) which has a well paced beat for running in time with. In fact, Rammstein has made a large amount of great training music such as Tier (Animal), Mann Gegen Mann (Man Against Man) and Sonne ( The Sun). Sonne in particular is quite poetic, and being about a boxer, quite appropriate.
When selecting a soundtrack for my gleeful misery, I generally look for music with the following things in mind:
1. Obviously, it must be music in which I can lose myself and that I can stand listening to on repeat when I want a nice, stable tempo. The tempo and mood should also fit with the style I'm practicing. Crazy Frog and Thai Chi do not mix.
2. It should be something with an inspiring sound, for example Europa by Globus, which makes excellent use of a choir and symphony. Good lyrics are a must, as there is little worse than hearing anything involving gats and hoes while trying to throw a scissor kick.
Poetry of any kind can be useful, since that is all good lyrics are. I've lost count of how many times I've sung Lady in Black, Unsterblich (Undying), Eisbar ( Polar Bear), or Ejnoy The Silence quietly to myself while training.
Ben Davies
www.silentriverkungfu.com
Write, Left, Write, Left....
I've been working on several stories, because, well, in addition to writing a book being one of my requirements, I love it. Perhaps it is because is because of the highly Gothic music I've been listening to whilst generating characters and plots, but lately they seen quite angsty. Most of my writing tends towards the fantastical, probably because I like swords and magic and so forth. When I write a story, I usually sit down and craft the characters first, and the plot second. I find this method makes my characters more organic and believable, and the plot my continuous and fluid. If there is anything I can't stand in stories, it is lack of verisimilitude, so I do all I can to make mine believable.
Fiction and poetry are my two favorite mediums, while I'm not a big fan of most prose. I could mix the two and write my stories in verse; however, as charming an idea as that is, it would remind me of Shakespeare. It's a shame really, how much I dislike Shakespeare; he was a fairly good author, but alas poor Yorik, he's been much overdone in schools. Well, I suppose I'll be getting back to writing.
Ben Davies
www.silentriverkungfu.com
Fiction and poetry are my two favorite mediums, while I'm not a big fan of most prose. I could mix the two and write my stories in verse; however, as charming an idea as that is, it would remind me of Shakespeare. It's a shame really, how much I dislike Shakespeare; he was a fairly good author, but alas poor Yorik, he's been much overdone in schools. Well, I suppose I'll be getting back to writing.
Ben Davies
www.silentriverkungfu.com
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