Think It Through And Come Out The Other Side

Originally, I was writing an entry detailing a series of adventures but as I thought about it a better topic arose. What shouldn't one think about?

I out with a friend who seemed down and I of course inquired as to why. She said her grandmother was in the hospital and dieing at 97. "At least she had a good run" was probably not the right thing to say, but it was all I had. I told her that I could empathize though, since my grandfather had died that morning. She was depressed, I was not. Why? I know for a fact I have the capacity to feel how she did, but why didn't I? Later, during the festivities of the night she remarked that she didn't want to think about Grandmother and would rather be distracted. I therefore did my best to do so rather than mention what was running through my head and now onto my blog. The reason I am not depressed over the death of my grandparent they way she is is that I accept it. Any time he walks onto the stage of my mind I don't immediately call for curtain close, I let the thoughts come and think the through until I come out the other side and into whatever I'd rather be thinking about. My friend, meanwhile, did not want to think about her grandmother because she doesn't want to accept the possibility of her death.
Sifu Olsvik told me a long while ago never to attach negativity. Don't think to yourself 'I hate this fat on me' because you accumulate negativity, instead think positively 'I'm going to get fit'. I expect it is the same with thoughts. The thoughts which try to enter our minds are turned away by an 'Authorized Personell Only' sign, and putting hate and sadness to them will only make them bring that hate and sadness back with them the next time and the next time and the next time. Conversely, you can accept the thought and let it speak its piece. You don't need to offer it tea or invite it to stay the night, but allow it its moment.

I see the same thing in some students. They try in vain to do something and get down on themselves when they don't entirely succeed. They talk about how they're weak and out of shape and how much self loathing/pity they have and how they yearn for years past when it would have been so easy. They take dispairaging thoughts and offer them the guest rooms while shoeing the encouraging and the ambitious out of their mind. For what?

Avoiding the things which make you sad will not make you happy
Lamenting the passing years will not bring them back
Stay in the moment, looking instead to what you still have at your fingertips

Ben Davies
Silent River Kung Fu
Stony Plain Alberta, Canada
www.silentriverkungfu.com